Clouding: Day 9

Word Count: 54,020

Summary of Events:

Asher decided to get the Apaches who helped him with his arm in on the plan to draw out Bullseye and informed them of his plan, which they readily agreed to. Theresa attended her father's funeral and grieved even more than she'd grieved before. Asher and the Apaches set out to canvass the area for signs of Bullseye as the first part of putting their plan into action. Theresa's struggle with the possible good in her father's death renewed, she and her mother discussed it further, with Theresa wishing God could give her an answer . . .

Excerpt of the Day:

"Can't He explain it out of courtesy?" Theresa asked.

"It wouldn't grow your faith," Mama replied. "It wouldn't grow your trust to have all the answers now, to have an explanation."

"Why do I have to grow in faith?" Theresa asked.

"You know a child must grow," Mama replied. "An infant, for example, they must be able to accept that there are times when their parents will not help them get something they desire, forcing them to either do without it, or work on developing the skills they need to get there on their own. If a parent carries their child everywhere and gives their child everything, when will that child learn to walk? When will that child learn to fend for themselves?"

"Never," Theresa replied.

"Not likely, no," Mama agreed. "God is our heavenly Father. He does not always give us the answers because He knows that we will be better off not knowing, because not knowing the answers will prompt us to trust that He's doing the right thing, and to make the changes we may need to make that having the answers would prevent us from making. It's not a perfect analogy, but it's a decent one. We are to walk by faith, not by sight."

"I don't need to see the answers," Theresa said. "I just need to know them."

"You do not need to Theresa," Mama said. "Although I could postulate that you are getting an answer."

"How?" Theresa asked.

"Maybe one of the reasons that Jeremy has been taken from us is so that you would learn to trust God more," Mama replied. "That's not to say it was only for the sake of your trust's growth that Jeremy died and that if you would've already trusted God more he wouldn't have been killed, but maybe that is something that God intends to bring out of this for you personally."

Theresa didn't know what to say. How could she possibly trust God more when He'd taken her father away from her? It certainly seemed like He'd taken away all the reasons why she ought to trust in Him by taking Papa away, and now trust was what He wanted?

"It is an idea at least," Mama said. "And I think it is a meritorious idea. It is easy to trust God when things are going well and good, and that is almost always what you've known."

"He took away our house in Wisconsin," Theresa said.

"Yes," Mama agreed. "He did, and we lost many precious things. But things are not quite the same as people. You have never lost a dearly beloved one, much less a dearly beloved one who certainly seemed to have much more left in their life to see and do. There may be something in the future yet which prompted God to give you this test, that you might be strengthened and prepared possibly for a worse trial yet to come."