Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Derailment: Day 15

Word Total: 90,036

Year to Date: 810,074

Summary of Events:
Fox Paw went to tend to Matthew again and was found and questioned by Badger Ears, who was incredibly suspicious of her activities and mentioned his desire to burn all of Matthew's things, even Adonikam and Shelomith. Matthew read to Fox Paw chapters 25-27 the book of Matthew, in which the last supper and Jesus' crucifixion took place, which brought Fox Paw to tears. Fox Paw left Matthew and went off on her own to hide in the trees . . .

Excerpt of the Day:
"Fox Paw turned her face away from the light, but she couldn't hide from it. She felt its warmth on her through the trees. It was all quiet, she couldn't hear anything, not even a birdsong or leaves fluttering in the breeze.
It was her fault, but He was willing to forgive her for it. Fox Paw looked at the sun hesitantly, then closed her eyes again. It could all be made right between them if she would just apologize.
Fox Paw hoped that God understood her language, as she knew she would do a far better job speaking to Him in her language than speaking to Him in English. She curled herself up tightly and regained her composure for a few moments before beginning to speak.
"I am sorry," she whispered. "I have done horrible things to You, I have been so mean to You, I have caused You so much harm, please, accept my humblest apologies for it. I cannot do anything to undo it, I know; I feel horrible that I have done such things, please forgive me. I know You shouldn't, but please. I want to do good things that please You; I don't feel good having done these good things when they don't please You. Please, forgive me, and help me to bring You pleasure and honour."
She felt like her words were completely inadequate, but she had no idea what else to say; there weren't words to put her feelings into; there was nothing that she could do to truly express how badly she felt.
But yet there was a release; Fox Paw opened her eyes and looked at the sun, higher now, its light not as deep gold as it had been, she felt it was all right, in her mind she saw her hands clean, blood no longer staining them red.
Fox Paw looked at her hands and saw that indeed they were clean — not that they had been dirty. Tears again threatened to overwhelm her, but they were different tears, not tears of guilt and sadness, but tears of elation and gratefulness.
She was released, she was freed and forgiven — that was the only thing she could attribute it to. God had forgiven her for everything she'd done; all of her horrible behaviour, all the things she couldn't even begin to think of.
Now she was one of the sheep, but yet she was also different from her people: she was no longer one who followed the Spirits like her mother, nor was she one who followed the god of her father. She was different.
What would they think of her being like that? None of them would understand, and they would probably all treat her with the same kind of unkindness as Matthew. But yet that didn't bring fear to Fox Paw, she was willing to face it, whatever it might be."

Next post will be on August 28.

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